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- ║ MANDATORY NOTICE OF NON-COMPLIANCE ║
- ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
-
- ATTENTION: CONNECTION TO THIS INTERNET RELAY CHAT (IRC) SERVICE
- CONSTITUTES A LEGALLY MEANINGLESS BUT OPERATIONALLY BINDING ACT UNDER
- THE IMPLIED AUTHORITY OF COMMON SENSE, BAD DECISIONS, AND THE STATE OF
- CALIFORNIA (OR SOMETHING ADJACENT THERETO).
-
- PURSUANT TO:
- • RFC 1918.5 §0 (Imaginary Address Space Abuse)
- • RFC 666.13 §13.37 (Unspecified Hostile Network Behavior)
- • RFC 9001½ (Speculative Transport Pathologies)
- • California Civil Code §0xCAFEBABE
- • California Penal Code §404.13(b)(¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
- • The General Vibe of California, circa 3:14 AM
-
- YOU ARE HEREBY INFORMED OF THE FOLLOWING:
-
- 1. THIS SERVICE IS PROVIDED “AS IS,” “AS WAS,” “AS BROKEN,” AND
- “AS-LEFT-UNATTENDED.”
- No warranty—EXPRESS, IMPLIED, CONSTRUCTIVE, DESTRUCTIVE, OR TELEPATHIC—
- is granted, including but not limited to uptime, data integrity,
- consistency, accuracy, usefulness, legality, or coherence.
-
- 2. ALL TRAFFIC SHOULD BE PRESUMED:
- - Logged
- - Misinterpreted
- - Taken out of context
- - Weaponized in arguments
- - Ultimately discarded
-
- Any expectation of privacy is DISCLAIMED, WAIVED, MOCKED, AND THEN
- DISCLAIMED AGAIN pursuant to RFC 666.13 §2 (“You Should Have Known
- Better”) and California Civil Code §17200.404 (“That’s On You”).
-
- 3. THIS NETWORK IS NOT A SAFE SPACE.
- IT IS NOT A SECURE CHANNEL.
- IT IS NOT A COURT OF LAW.
- IT IS CERTAINLY NOT YOUR FRIEND.
-
- Statements made herein may be incorrect, inflammatory, sarcastic,
- ironic, post-ironic, or generated by sleep-deprived humans and should
- not be relied upon for any purpose whatsoever, including but not
- limited to life choices.
-
- 4. OPERATORS RESERVE THE RIGHT TO:
- - Monitor without notice
- - Disconnect without warning
- - Ban without explanation
- - Deny without appeal
- - Forget you ever existed
-
- Such actions may be carried out manually, automatically, accidentally,
- or as a side effect of poorly tested regular expressions, in compliance
- with RFC 9001½ §7 (“Collateral Damage”) and California Penal Code
- §1337.420(a)(1) (“Because We Can”).
-
- 5. ATTEMPTS TO SCAN, FLOOD, BRUTE-FORCE, ENUMERATE, EXPLOIT, DECOMPILE,
- REVERSE, SIDE-CHANNEL, OR OTHERWISE ANNOY THIS SERVICE WILL BE MET WITH:
- a) Silent logging
- b) Immediate disconnection
- c) Long-term IP nihilism
- d) Deep personal disappointment
-
- Repeated offenses may result in permanent exclusion from this network
- and informal storytelling among operators, per RFC 1918.5 §9
- (“Remember That One Guy?”).
-
- 6. JURISDICTION IS CLAIMED SIMULTANEOUSLY AND EXCLUSIVELY by the State of
- California, the Server Operator’s Mood, and Whatever Law Is Most
- Inconvenient to You at the Time, pursuant to California Civil Code
- §9999.99 (“Sure, Why Not”).
-
- 7. IF ANY PORTION OF THIS NOTICE IS FOUND TO BE INVALID, UNENFORCEABLE,
- OR LEGALLY NONSENSICAL, SUCH FINDING SHALL HAVE NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER,
- AS IT WAS NEVER INTENDED TO HOLD UP IN COURT AND YOU ARE READING IT ON
- AN IRC SERVER.
-
- CONTINUED CONNECTION CONSTITUTES ACCEPTANCE OF THESE TERMS, ALL FUTURE
- REVISIONS, ALL PRIOR REVISIONS YOU NEVER SAW, AND ANY UNDOCUMENTED POLICY
- CHANGES IMPLEMENTED AT 2 A.M.
-
- IF YOU OBJECT: DISCONNECT NOW.
- IF YOU REMAIN: YOU CONSENT.
- IF YOU COMPLAIN: YOU WILL BE IGNORED.
-
- ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
- ║ YOU HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED. ACT ACCORDINGLY. ║
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